I’ve tried to give up and let go, given my fulltime job has hardly anything to do with the live face to face crucible of patient care. I give up though. You can take the girl out of the ambulance…the girl can’t let go of wanting to be in the ambulance thinking like a clinician though.
“Pursue, keep up with, circle round and round your life as a dog does his master’s chaise. Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still…Be not simply good—be good for something.” (Henry David Thoreau)
I am currently a reluctant deskbound shiftworker by day, wistful former clinician and educator by night…and day…and night… ad infinitum.
I was lucky enough to enjoy 5 hilarious, hair-raising, harrowing and halcyon days as a paramedic in various bits of Victoria and SA before reluctantly making the decision to leave the road after 2 years dealing with a back injury. Great decision for my physical and mental wellbeing. But man, I miss being a full-time clinician every damn day despite that.
I have no idea as to what I’m doing with a meducation blog, really. Insert tangent on imposter syndrome here. I want to get back to being a part of patient care. Still undecided on what new direction that looks like whilst continuing to earn enough money to live and pay a mortgage.
Clinical learning and caring for others is one of the thing I keep coming back to at the end of a shitty day of politics. Trawling #FOAMed on twitter in my breaks. Reading everything I can find on metacognition and decision making. Podcasts, journal articles and admiring the marvellous group thinktank that is free open access meducation, and a whole bunch of clinicians all over the world offering up their knowledge, experience, questions, learning and time.
So a blog.
For myself to stay sane and figure out what next. For the coworkers embarking onto the lifelong learning of being ambos themselves, for the resident rad undergrad twidow who cheerfully listens to and encourages all my clinical geek outs. For anyone who loves to learn, and has ever been part of the continuum of patient care, critical or otherwise.
So…hello. The mistakes that follow will be all mine; the far more gifted ideas of others will be referenced to follow into the Internet rabbit-hole. Various resources which may or may not be of help will pop up over time. Hopefully something here or elsewhere online sparks a little light bulb moment or curiosity to go in search of more. This may not be good or even good for something…but it’s something.
Never stop learning 🙂